COLUMN: Not a fan of life on the road

By: By Gary Edwards | SCNow
Published: November 30, 2007

The Francis Marion University men’s basketball team travels to Dahlonega, Ga., today to take on North Georgia College. It will be our first road game of the young season. And despite Dahlonega being the “Site of the first U.S. Gold Rush,” I am not looking forward to it.

No coach likes playing on the road, but I am especially against it. Bad things happen on the road. When we went to Dahlonega last year, I spent six hours on a bus to coach about six minutes in the actual game.

The referee gave me two technical fouls and I spent most of the afternoon browsing through Chamber of Commerce brochures in the locker room. That’s how I know about that Gold Rush thing.

As bad as that afternoon was, it doesn’t compare to a road trip we took to Bethune-Cookman when I was the coach at Charleston Southern University. Bethune-Cookman has the worst gym in Division I basketball, and some of the toughest fans.

Despite the odds, my young Buccaneers held a 12-point lead with about five minutes to go in the game. And that is all I remember.

At that point, a young Bethune-Cookman scholar came out of the stands and walked up to me on the sideline and punched me right in the jaw. He decked me. Knocked me out for the count.

They tell me all heck broke out at that point. Chairs were flying all over the gym. As the referees ran out the door, they stopped the game and awarded us the victory. I sipped soup out of a straw for two weeks.

In my first season as the head coach at Francis Marion, we earned a 3-10 record on the road. After careful evaluation and significant coaching analysis, I have come to the conclusion that I am dealing with an away-game curse.

I am not sure of the cause. Early in my career, I may have uttered the words, “Hey, these away games aren’t so bad,” and the basketball gods are now seeking retribution.

Whatever the cause, I must now concentrate on stopping it. I visited Madame Bogart, winner of the Morning News’ coveted “Pee Dee’s Best Healer and Advisor” award, this week. In a hushed voice, she recommended that I cover my body in linseed oil and lie naked across East Palmetto Street.

If we don’t win this afternoon, I am willing to sacrifice an assistant coach to eternal wandering on the road in a state car. We can have a little ceremony at the Gold Rush Museum and send him on his way.

If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know. In the meantime, my team will try to play a little better defense and grab a few more rebounds this afternoon at North Georgia. When you play on the road, it is like a war and we must have a warrior’s mentality.

If that doesn’t work, look for me on Palmetto and give me a little honk as you drive by.