Trip to San Francisco offers surprises

We didn’t leave our hearts in San Francisco, but we did leave what seemed like a pretty good little boost for their economy. They call it “everybody’s favorite city,” and it ranks mighty high with me.

It’s a great place to visit, and you betcha, as Sarah Palin might say, it is a good place to live.

Our original plan had been to visit New York, as on our honeymoon, for a landmark anniversary. But then we found some unusually good ticket prices to San Francisco. Plans changed and we went west, as Horace Greeley suggested. Neighbors Darby and Gerald Holley liked the idea and went along.

Now I must ask this riddle: What does a pirate pay to have his ears pierced?

Answer: A buck an ear.

Get it? Buck an ear — buccaneer? That’s the kind of stuff you get for free at Fisherman’s Wharf if you listen in on a show being done for kids so they will lure their parents to gift shops.

I particularly liked this guy who hid beside a trash can, covered with a bunch of leaves from shrubs, looking very much like a patch of shrubbery. When pedestrians came by close to him, he burst out like some kind of beast, growling loudly. It scared the wits out of some people.

While the girls gift-shopped, I watched him for awhile and then, much to my wife’s dismay, dropped a little currency in his tip jar. Remember, it was San Francisco, so he might have had a permit for this.

On a pier we heard some strange sounds and followed them. On some little floating platforms, we found dozens, maybe hundreds, of sea lions. They must have been comfortable, because most of them were napping. There were a few troublemakers that started fights here and there, causing many of them to honk or bark or whatever that sound is.

A brochure said that young male sea lions have taken over that area, so they must have to go elsewhere to find girl friends, but then, this was San Francisco.

A highlight of the visit was when Gareth and Larry Standing came to town. We met her on a tour in 1984 and have seen her occasionally since then despite the distance between our homes. They came from their place near the Calaveras County Frog Jump. (She has the distinction of once having flown from California for a Florence Little Theatre opening.)

They helped us find our way to the Muir Woods, which has Sequoias hundreds of years old and about 250 or so feet tall, and to the wine country for wine tastings.

Folks out there really pay attention to their flowers and other plants. We drove up Napa Valley, and the flowers that decorated the roadside and entrances to wineries were as impressive as the hundreds of acres of grapes.

Clint Eastwood has sold his restaurant in Carmel, but nearby at the famous Pebble Beach golf course, we watched some players come up to the 18th hole. I guarantee you not one of them was a better
golfer than I, and I haven’t even tried to play in about 40 years.

One night Gerald drove down that block of Lombard Street that twists back and forth and must be the second most crooked street in the world. It used to be called “the most crooked street in the world” before they found out about Wall Street.

Also, I’m positive there are more up hills than down hills in San Fran. You would think an up hilI street would be down hill going the other way, but I’m certain we walked up hill along some streets, then turned around and walked up hill again.

I felt a little bad about not getting over to Oakland, which seems always neglected. Gertrude Stein famously said “there is no there there” about Oakland. (Actually, what she meant was the house she grew up in was gone, not that the town was insignificant.)

Anyway, I learned that soon there may be no A’s there, either. The Athletics, news reports said, want to move.

Finally, some of our party kept their watches on Florence time the whole trip. That meant having to subtract to figure out West Coast time. Such unnecessary additional mathematics.

— Thom Anderson is a retired journalist who has 40 years experience with South Carolina newspapers, including the Morning News. E-mail him at .