That’s Life: Age of consent is 16, not 14, not that it matters

To those who missed it, this past November, in the general election, South Carolinians gave lawmakers the authority to change the “age of consent” from 14 to 16.

The change is for boys and girls and was necessary so that other state laws are in sync, Rep. Jim Battle explained recently. And while it applies to the question “when can I legally have sex,” it is not permission to engage in such an “adult” activity.

So, to those parents who called to say that the state’s young age of consent is one of the reasons students are getting pregnant, you should know that you have two extra years to try to control your child’s behavior with “the law says…” The age of consent is NOT 14, it IS 16.

Not that it matters. Children will be, well, children. They will be disobedient of parents who warn them to say “No!” to having sex, taking drugs, driving too fast, and the list goes on. They will say “No!” to taking the time to consider contraception for their wayward behavior and they will say “Yes!” to doing what they feel they can get away with.

Laws may hope to modify behavior, but they often fall short of keeping human beings from acting like human beings: flawed creatures who most often act before, or without, thinking through consequences.

Youngsters having children places a burden on the youngsters having the babies; on the grandparents who have to adjust their lives to caring for babies; and on a community’s resources, such as school districts, health care systems and more, that attempt to help care for babies and the human beings they become.

What a tragic thing: to call a newly created life a burden.

Among the reasons Superintendent Nathaniel Miller gave in his recent column in the Star & Enterprise for the epidemic in local teen pregnancies were that television, the Internet and society appear to be glamorizing teens having babies; that having no jobs leads to having sex to keep from being bored; and that an overall lack of judgment, and I’ll add self control, is evident.

Millers suggested we better educate students and the community about the responsibilities of parenting. He suggested we unify the community in declaring one message. I hope that message is a return to “Just Say No!” Say no to displaying a lack of self-discipline, a lack of self-respect and a lack of self-control.

A child should be a wanted gift, a new bundle of joy, the greatest expression of real love. Having a child should be a happily anticipated event, not a dreaded result of a night’s activity. I wonder. For each of those 17 girls pregnant in the district, how many lives have been aborted?

The epidemic is real. It has a name: It is selfishness – Give me what I want, when I want, regardless of the consequences. Self-centeredness, plain and simple.

At least 17 girls have begun to take responsibility for their actions rather than dismissing them. I hope there are a corresponding 17 boys who are doing the same, by staying harder and staying in school; by choosing to discontinue to have sex as an extracurricular activity; and by looking for an honest job that will help to buy the food, clothes and education needed.

I hope that by the time these 17 new lives get here, they will have what every child needs: At least one, if not two, responsible, loving, stable parents, regardless of their ages, who put the children first.
Sometimes, it’s best not to look back; you cannot change what is past. It is better to look forward. That’s something you can control.

Regardless of the age of consent, teenage pregnancies have always meant several lives are going to change. For the 17 about to bring 17 more students into the Marion School District 2 system, let’s hope the right message is given, heard and responded to.