Sorting through online junk mail

Good morning, everybody! Wake up, I am back with another Cecil’s World in Print. Just a reminder, you have less than three weeks until Christmas. I am starting to get into the Christmas mood but I have not started shopping yet. I just can’t help it. I am a last-minute shopper for everything I do.

I want to talk about something that really drives me crazy. I am talking about junk mail by means of the Internet. No joke — when I signed on this morning, I had 154 e-mails. Only 20 of them were from people I knew and were corresponding with me about something. The other 134 were unwanted and unsolicited junk that I have no interest in. It takes me 15 to 20 minutes to delete all of the junk. WBTW employees get a lot of this unwanted e-mail because we have what they call an open e-mail box, plus our e-mail address is on our Web site.

OK, I know some of you are wondering what kind of junk e-mail I receive. Well, hang on because here they come.

I sign on and the first one that pops up is this question: Had any Viagra lately? Give me a break.! It’s 7:30 in the morning when I am reading this junk. Here is one that says “get the sleep you need with Sonate.” I checked this out and it is an advertisement for online prescriptions without visiting a doctor. You can get prescriptions like Valium shipped overnight from this site. I also found three other sites that you could order prescription drugs from without seeing a doctor.

This e-mail really grabbed my attention. It said “boost your car mileage by 27 percent.” It states that a revolutionary device boosts gas mileage. This e-mail also states it is a proven technology that has been checked out and tested by EPA. OK, if they have tested it, why don’t we see the car manufacturers putting this on their vehicles?

This piece of junk e-mail really knocked my socks off: “Lose weight without diet and exercise.” All you have to do is put on a weight loss patch that helps burn body fat. Give me a break (and send me 200 patches so I can just lie around and lose weight).

There was another e-mail talking about the “little blue wonder.” It stated that researchers implanted the devices in 17 obese women whose average weight is 682 pounds. That was it. No results or anything else about the little blue wonder. Come on, people, I need more info. This might be one of those “to be continued” e-mails. I’ll let you know when I get the rest of the story.

I am sure there are a lot of people who order some of these items offered on the Internet, but I am a little leery about some of them. How about this one? The e-mail says “human growth hormones.” After it gets your attention, the e-mail says experts report that HGH therapy makes you look and feel 20 years younger. All right, send me some of these growth hormones. I am always wanting to look and feel younger. Do you believe this works? Come on, people, think about it. You already look as young as you feel and that’s all you need.

I also received an e-mail from a young woman in Germany looking for someone to marry so she could come to the United States. No, I did not know her, these are just e-mails that are randomly sent out to people. I immediately deleted that one. Now, I did get one piece of junk e-mail that advertises a spam tool that will automatically identify and remove junk e-mail. Yes, I am checking into that one. At last! One junk e-mail that can help me.

Don’t forget boys and girls: Santa is watching you, so be good. That’s it for another Cecil’s World in Print. I’ll see you next week, right here in the Morning News and on the tube.

— Cecil Chandler is a veteran reporter at WBTW News13. His column appears Mondays in the Morning News.