COLUMN: Valentine's Dinner at the Fountain of Youth

The writer’s son, Brenton, has been dating a pretty girl for five years named Brittni Elvington. Brittni is from Florence.

During that time, this almost fossilized columnist has never met Brittni’s parents. That was until Valentine’s Day.

They took a chance and invited me to their house for a spaghetti supper. All I had to do was bring a bottle of wine. Good. I could do that.

The spaghetti was cooking as soon as I walked in the door. The smell of something scrumptious wafted throughout the house. The scribe knew he had come to the right place for serious nourishment.

Brittni’s dad is named Howard. Her mom’s name is Kay, not Barbi.

Too bad, because she could fit perfectly in the Barbi category.

The writer has the nerve to take a step or two farther. He would say that the history books are wrong when it comes to Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de leon, the first European explorer to set foot in Florida.

We all know that Ponce de leon was hot to trot to find the Fountain of Youth. He was unsuccessful.

The Fountain of Youth was actually discovered by Kay. She looks about as young as her daughter.

Thus, it should have come as no surprise to me that she was born the year this ink slinger graduated from high school. Most of the people I work with here at the Morning News were born 10 or more years after the columnist graduated from college. I am the senior citizen on the staff.

It was great to meet Howard, Kay and their son, West. They made me feel right at home.

The writer knew they were flexible when Brenton was late arriving – a good 45 minutes late. Brittni was already present.

But it wasn’t hard to know when Brenton arrived with alacrity. He brought Trip, his mammoth blonde golden retriever, with him.

Trip has been to visit his grandparents before. So he proceeded to make himself right at home because the only people who spoil him more than Brenton are Brittni and her parents.

The writer had somehow missed lunch Wednesday. He knew it best to put ice in the wine and drink gingerly.

Plus his former wife was in attendance and kept a mental calculation in her head of how many glasses he consumed. She remains an expert in that category. After all, when we were married, she used to wash my shot glass out before I had a chance to pollute it with a second shooter. Nothing runs a second shot like cutting it with a slug of Dawn.

Kay had homemade slaw and bread flown in that very day from France to go with the spaghetti. Brenton inhaled three plates without taking a breath. The writer had two plates and was seriously considering a third until he discovered that Kay had also made a cake that was lurking in the freezer next to the ice.

The supper was delicious and the hospitality second to none. The pleasure was all mine meeting Howard, Kay and West.

Brenton was still there when the scribe left at 8:30 p.m. – already past his bedtime. No doubt he talked Kay into giving him a haircut the next day because Kay is a stylist who cuts the locks of Bree Boyce, the reigning Miss South Carolina, among others.

Youthfully beautiful, a good cook and she can cut hair. Nice catch, Howard.

Morning News columnist Dwight Dana can be reached at (843) 317-7259 or by email at ddana@florencenews.com.