We have a new pastor at my church, some of you might have heard. He is an energetic young man to be sure, only turning 30 since he has been with us.
Our church is growing well and prospering. We are blessed with a good church board that held the membership together while we could have floundered without a pastor. But we didn't. We stayed strong. We had six new members to join the church with us a few Sunday’s ago.
This little young pastor is never satisfied, I don’t believe. He wants more and better and he is working us overtime and HARD! To prove my point, he got with the deacons recently and cajoled them into allowing him to hold a “No Excuse Sunday,” where everybody is welcome and no one has a legitimate excuse to stay at home.
Here are his plans, just in the event you even THINK about staying home.
“To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special ‘No Excuse Sunday.’
“Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, ‘Sunday is my only day to sleep in.’
“There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel our pews are too hard.
“Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night.
“We will have steel helmets for those who say, ‘The roof would cave in if I ever come to church.’
“Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it’s too hot.
“Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
“Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too.
“We will distribute ‘Stamp Out Stewardship’ buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money.
“One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.
“Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
“The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.
“We will provide hearing aids for those who can’t hear the preacher and cotton wool for those who think he’s too loud.”
Hope to see y’all there!
— Mildred Browder-Hughes is senior correspondent for The Weekly Observer.
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