Hospice is home for angels

By: Charlie Walker | SCNOW
Published: November 19, 2008

Adaire Calcutt is an angel of mercy from hospice who visits my house every Tuesday.

Adaire is one of Dr. Troy Gamble’s Golden Girls — not to be confused with the “Golden Girls” on television. The ones with hospice earned their names because they are worth their weight in gold.

Adaire is from Pamplico, which is famous for hospitality, schools and Clemson fans. Adaire takes my pulse, blood pressure and temperature — and decides if I am legally alive.

Adaire, on her visits to Sandy Bay, also keeps Peggy and me up to date on who did what to whom and who got caught in Pamplico.

Dr. Gamble has a fleet of nurses who are Rolexes and Jaguars. They are proof that God doesn’t make junk.

If you live in God’s Little Acre between Pamplico and Sandy Bay, you have no doubt feasted on Adaire’s daddy’s famous hot dogs.

Sonny Mouzon runs the L&M Self Service on U.S. 52 at the Lake City city limits across from Lake City Pentecostal Holiness Church. His hot dogs won’t make you pretty or smart, but they help Sonny pay the light bill.

What makes a hot dog ordinary or extraordinary is the chili, and Sonny’s hot dogs feature industrialized chili.

If the walls of Jericho had been made out of Sonny’s chili, the walls would have never come tumbling down. Sonny keeps his recipe for chili in the vault at The Citizens Bank.

Why is it we have a top 10 list for everything but hot dogs? We have a hit parade from mud puddles to nursery rhymes, but the hot dog is the Rodney Dangerfield of groceries. Sonny rules his kingdom from behind the counter, where he offers advice by the numbers and sells hot dogs by the score.

You can lose weight eating his hot dogs, because fat is terrified of Sonny’s chili. That’s why everyone at Lake City Pentecostal Holiness Church is so skinny. They claim eating Sonny’s hot dogs is the only way they can go to heaven without expiring.

If the 12 disciples had enjoyed Sonny’s hot dogs at the Last Supper, they would still be eating. A weenie has to undergo many vigorous tests to be deemed worthy to qualify as a Sonny Mouzon hot dog. It has to have three references and be blessed by at least one preacher.

It is very educational watching Sonny prepare his hot dogs. First, he puts the bun in a vice, and then he applies the chili with a sledgehammer. The result is the hot dog of your dreams. Your taste buds will be born again.

If you try one of Sonny Mouzon’s hot dogs and you mention you heard it here, Sonny will give you an extra squirt of mustard.

And remember, anyone who can produce the best hot dog is also responsible for quality grandchildren. Adaire has two children, Lane, 7, and Sarah Grace, 4.

— Charlie Walker is a local newspaper columnist. He can be reached at P.O. Box 441, Kingstree, SC 29556.