Memories of our fathers

As the time for Father’s Day draws closer with reminders from commercials on television and gift promotions in all the stores, we find in our quiet times of reflection those special memories of our fathers and grandfathers.

As I thought about what my favorite memory of my own father would be, I slowly realized that the reason why I chose to drop my maiden name and retain my middle name from birth and why I insist on adding that “E” to my signature was from a very special summer day in my youth. My father had driven me to the Aliquippa Harbor one summer morning to show me his new lobster boat, and as I stood on the rocks admiring the boat in my favorite colors, white and green, I read the side and realized that he had named it after me, the “Jana E.” He had a hard time expressing emotions, alcoholics often do, but in that moment he was able to show me that he loved me, and I’m forever thankful.

We all have special memories of our family; and I thought I’d share the favorite memories of some friends, with the sincere hope that readers take time this weekend to share their own favorite memories with their families…it’s those tales from our hearts that weave the fabric of our families and keep our history alive.

“Well, my grandpa and I used to ride around in this old red 1990 Corolla and pretend it was the Batmobile. It was pretty fun; he would tell me about his time in the Navy, the Communists and how they almost ruined the world, and the Capitalists and how they were ruining the world. He told me about the good old days, and he used to sing “You Are My Sunshine”; it still makes me realize there are still things worth living for.”- Garion Z. White, 2008 graduate of Mayo HS, attending the Citadel in the fall.

“I have many father memories. I think my favorite is that when I was about six or seven, my real dad bought me a baby duck. He lived on a pond then. I only saw my daddy every other weekend and always looked forward to seeing "Quacky.” I loved that duck for years, and it stayed at our pond. When I was about 28, my friends and I were talking about childhood memories, and he let a little secret out of the bag. My duck died and he went to every farmer in Florence and Darlington County looking for a duckling that looked like mine........... I never knew. I still wish he never told me, but it made me feel so good that he loved me enough to care.”- Brandy Zeller, AllState Insurance Agency

“I was at summer camp on the week of Father’s Day in 1956 when I received a letter (the first of two letters he wrote me, the second came when I was a freshman in college). Daddy told me how much he missed me and how happy he was to be my father. I got homesick after hearing from him and wanted to come home immediately, but after making a phone call and talking to him, he encouraged me to stay the rest of the week. I made him a bracelet for Father's Day and proudly gave it to him a week later. I still have those two letters and will always cherish them. A father may tell his child he loves them many times, but there is something so wonderful about reading it in a letter. I was blessed with a wonderful father and will always remember how much he cared for me and how much I loved him. “-Jean Watkins, retired teacher.

"I learned from my father that when times are difficult, learn to be patient, yet very alert. For any and all opportunities that might come, be persistant. Be more caring for others and work together for a satisfying goal. "Don't plan or work for self alone." is a motto that I was taught to live by, that we should live and work as if you were part of a team, a community, that works together. He taught me the importance of being honest and fair. That along with a few memorable spankings is what made me the man I am today." -Clayton Richardson, leader of People to People in Hartsville.

“One of my fondest memories of daddy was when he would gather the four of us up after our baths during the balmy summer evenings, and take us for a ride, called 'cutting the block.' He would put us four in the back seat (he drove a huge black Mercury), and proceed around the driveway to our neighbor, Mr. June, toot the horn, and then here came Mr. June! Mr. June did not say much, but you knew that he anticipated this adventure. He was always ready and waiting for that horn to toot. Daddy would ride us around, and sometimes, stop and get us snacks. Once he even bought a pie and we all shared.....funny how he had forks in his car pocket! We would return home, now ready to go to bed, without argument. I wonder what mom did while we were gone?”- Paula Lyles Murph, remembering her father, RW "Dub" Lyles.

“This is probably not so exciting, but it’s how I remember my dad...the "gentle giant" in my life. My dad, Hardy Russ, was the most gentle person I ever knew. He lived until I was 43 years of age, and he was 81. I am 78, and I still miss him every day of my life. He never held a public office, never taught a Sunday school class, was never on any board in our church or at our school, but his influence on my life was tremendous. I never heard him scold or talk disrespectfully to my mother nor either of my siblings. He was respectful of everyone he met regardless of race, religion or nationality. He fought during WWI, but never talked about the years he spent in France. We never knew how much he did until he was not here to do it anymore. The best gift he ever gave to my sister, my brother and I was his love for our mother and us.”- Catherine Russ Pate, Wesley UMC.

“One of my fondest memories as a child was when I saw my first wild turkey. Some fathers might think it unwise to take a noisy six-year-old on a daylong trip to scout for turkeys in the remote mountains of western North Carolina. You know, young kids can be loud, ask a thousand questions, are always throwing rocks and banging sticks that might spook the game. I don’t remember a whole lot about that day, but the memory that is forever burned into my mind is sneaking quietly behind my dad, stepping where he stepped, so that we did not make any noise. As we neared the mouth of the Dogwood Hollar, I remember listening to the steady rhythmic scratching in the leaves, then seeing the excitement on my father’s face as he turned back to me and whispered, “there they are.” He hoisted me up on his shoulders next to a large tree so I could keep my balance and peer over the young white pines which were screening us from the birds… three magnificent gobblers came into view less than 100 yards away, their long beards swaying to and fro as they searched for food. My memory fades as I slid back down the tree and we slipped quietly away undetected by the birds. I learned a lesson about the outdoors and scouting and experienced a rare sight that day, but most of all, I made a precious memory with my dad.” -Harry Wilfong, Jr., Hilex Poly

“It is only after they have gone that you realize how important the little things were. Because I taught school, I was not home during the week, but on Saturday mornings daddy would make a short visit to my house to check on my family and me. I would be in the back of the house, and I'd here a whistle "wuu-wuu," and I knew he was there. He'd sit. He wanted to know if everyone was okay. He'd ask if I needed anything. (He was a great fixer.) After about ten minutes, he was on his way. After he died, I found myself still listening for his Saturday whistle. I would be reduced to tears when I realized I would never hear that sound again and that I had lost one of my greatest friends.
We went to the beach every summer. I had the blonde fine hair that became painfully entangled after a day on the beach. Daddy would sit and gently comb out my hair. He would start on the bottom and work his way up. He was not responsible for our daily care, so for him to take such time to make it 'not hurt' was very special. Being one of seven, mama started at the top and pulled her way down. I always remember his gentleness.
"I have lots of daddy stories because I had a wonderful dad. Thanks for letting me trip down memory lane.” Becca Benson, retired school teacher.

“What I can give you about my father (who is still alive) is the reality of being a parent (even though I am not one.) People say they did the best they could with what they had. That really does not resonate until you are much older. As children we feel victimized by our parents based on the decisions they made; some significant and some less significant. But as an adult, you should be looking back at the words your parent said, the decisions they made, and the actions they took and mining them for life lessons. You are unable to do so as a child because you are victimized by them; it is the law. You are unable to do so as a young adult because you are trying to assert yourself as an individual, and the thought of emulating your parents gives you an actual negative physical reaction. Keep in mind it has to be that way; otherwise we would never leave the house. We would all be in our parents’ basement wearing black concert t-shirts playing Playstation-2 asking mom what she is cooking for dinner tonight. But as a true adult, one that pays their own bills and have attended 10- and 20-year high school reunions and have realized that what makes us an adult is your own comfort in your own skin and your own achievements and not what others think or say about you, you can analyze your parents actions and words and find the true wisdom in them. So when my father said, "We can't have nothing nice" as the chickens were eating his favorite Styrofoam cooler we left out in the yard. It was not his way of calling us stupid and irresponsible, which I felt at the time. It is not a testament of how poor we were, which spurned me to go to college and get a good job so that the best thing I owned was not a Styrofoam cooler. It was just his way of saying, I am doing the best I can with what I have, and I really need some help from you kids in achieving this goal. I get it now, it was a lesson that took 35 years to get, but I really do get it now. Thanks Dad.” Henry Curry, formerly of Progress Energy in Hartsville, now with Hope Creek Nuclear Plant in NJ.

“McKendrie told me "I wub ooh Gaga" for the very first time on Father's Day morning last year. I am sure it took a lot of rehearsal with his mother, but it felt great nonetheless.” -Bruce Douglas, Black Creek Arts Council.

“My daddy made me feel so loved and still does. Regardless of my flaws, I knew he saw and loved the best in me. He still does. He brushed and dried my wet hair during Braves baseball games. He loved to laugh and joke. Along those lines, he taught me the art of the coin toss saying, as the coin went in the air, 'Heads I win. Tails you lose.' I didn't understand until I was a teenager why I always lost that coin toss! It was so obvious that my daddy enjoyed my brother and me. He spent so much of his free time with us. How proud I was of him as he taught our friends to water ski, welcoming them into his heart and home because we loved them. His kindness stood out as he went through life. He was, and is, a hero to us. I have so much to thank my heavenly Father for as I think of the pages and pages I could write about my dad. I married a man a lot like him who also thoroughly enjoys his children. Happy Father's Day to my dad and my children's daddy.” -Karen Driggers, for her father Zan West and husband Martin.

"Even though I miss daddy and what all he did and meant to us, I can’t come up with one particular story to tell. He was just always here for us and that’s what I miss and loved." -Judy Truett, substitute teacher.

“My daddy did two things faithfully every Sunday. He attended church, and enjoyed a cigar. Even today when I smell a cigar, I smell my daddy.” – Linda Yount, First Presbyterian Kindergarten.

“My dad 'Wink' Cromer, was a very smart, loving and kind father and friend to everyone he met. He came up with a plan and made a camper for mama and I to go camping when I was around five- and six-years-old, and we would go camping in the Smokey Mountains, Washington D.C. area and the Myrtle Beach State Park. I loved going along with my dad to politic when Mr. James Coker asked him to run for House of Representatives. These are a couple of my favorite times with my daddy along with many more. He was a wonderful Dad.” -Cheryl Cromer Yengel, Peebles.
“I lost my father exactly four years ago this Friday June 13, 2004. He was the most caring man that I will ever know, especially when it came to his children, grand kids or anyone else’s child for that matter. He was simply known as Papa Perk to everyone. At times, he sure had his ways, but you never had to guess where he stood on things. In most cases it was no surprise that he was right, and I should have known better than to think otherwise.
"On our last fishing trip to Murrells Inlet, not quite a year before his passing, he was very adamant about making sure he and I took the boat out along with all of his grand kids for a day of fishing. I remember that he was very tired most of that day, but he hung in like a champ because no sickness would stop him from the sight of those fish being caught by his grand kids. He and I both sat back on that boat, and just watched them. It wasn’t long before I realized what he wanted that day. That’s exactly what he got. In a Randy Travis Song it says “It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it’s what you leave behind you when you go.” That was how he lived his life, and I’m proud to say he was my dad. I love you Dad and I miss you very much.” – Jim Perkinson, Stingray Boats